A few months ago Boyfriend and I went to London. If you want to have an adventure, make the first trip you have with someone the long distant kind. If you come back still together non-murdered it was clearly meant to be.
Getting to the airport in Lexington we were informed we were booked on two flights to Atlanta. Not each separately, the two of us were just on two planes. This did not seem right. We pointed out that this was an impossibility and, as hard as I have tried to be, I am not omnipresent. They agreed and stuck us on only one flight. First flight crisis averted. Finally getting into Atlanta we settled down for our six hour layover.
The time slowly passed but it did pass. As the hour came closer we started to notice an abnormal amount of babies around our gate. Who takes a baby to London on a night flight? Surely God would not do this to me.
God has a sense of humor. As I stared one of the babies down and listened to his red-neck parents cuss and scream at each other I heard the worst thing I have ever heard a human say on a plane. “He misses his bed but there’s nothing I can do about it. He’s just going to have to cry it out.” Cry he did. His brother was older, so he just screamed.
Nine hours later I dragged my emotionally beaten body off the aircraft with one last look at my young nemesis. Someday I will find him and take a baby on a flight he’s on. Then he will know my pain.
Getting through customs was easy, maybe because I had word vomit. I told the agent all about my friend who we were there to visit. I think he let us through just so I’d shut up. Walking past the barrier I saw my friend and her boyfriend “Jess” and “Glenn”. I did not inform her an airport worker knew all about her as we threw our bags into their tiny car.
Making it to their house in Reading we changed and headed out to a Rugby game. As Jess was explaining the rules and telling me how it was, in general, a gentleman’s sport the players started to beat the crap out of each other. She was shocked and I was entertained.
Telling me she’d never seen anything like it before, we headed to a pub. I had some kind of fish cake. Best fish in the form of a cake I have ever had. Top that off with a pint of beer and I was good for the night.
The next day was the beer fest. Two large tents filled with beer and hard cider. Hundreds upon hundreds of drinks. We went on family day. You would not think family and beer fest would go together…they made it work. Do not worry people of gentle spirit… no children were drunk.
The next day was full of chapels. Picking up two pamphlets we wandered through the self guided tour. Please remember, my boyfriend is Asian. A well meaning employee came up to the two of us and touched my arm. ‘Sweetie,’ she said pointing to the laminated piece of paper, ‘do you need that in a different language?’ Assuring her I didn’t, I spent the rest of the day trying to figure out where she thought I was from.
Bath and Stonehenge were Tuesday. The baths (in Bath) were a lot of fun and would have been better if not for the large amount of French students everywhere. They were teenagers…horrible teenagers. They were not concerned about my personal space. I cursed them in American. AMERICA. After escaping them we boarded a bus to an ancient Celtic site. There was a priestess there. With a staff. Awesome.
The next three days were dedicated to London. We hit every museum we could and ate at many places. We walked and walked and walked. Sometimes we walked to where we wanted to go and many times we just got lost.
Our last day was in a sleepy town ‘Glenn’s’ parents lived in. We walked to castle ruins and had one last pub meal. It was a perfect end to a pretty good week. We made it back to Lexington despite Detroit’s best attempt to keep us there.