I have a birthday coming up soon. Well, it’s in August. It just seems fearfully and impendingly closer every time I look at the calendar. The day of imminent world implosion on the Mayan Doomsday Calendar has nothing on August 9th.
I do not need a calendar, however, to tell me the obvious. I’M GETTING OLD. Twenty-eight is fast approaching and let me tell you, I feel it.
Sure, I freaked out when I hit twenty-five because I was turning a quarter of a century old, but that was nothing compared to this. This year, I’ve really started to FEEL old. Injuries started happening (tendonitis, joint inflammation) and my bedtime started to get earlier and earlier. Who goes to bed at 9:30pm?! You know it’s bad when you’re too embarrassed to look at the wall clock because you can feel it judging you on your way to the bedroom.
I used to envision this type of thing happening, but in my mind’s eye, I was gray-haired and at least 60.
Back in the day (when you’re as old as me you have to start slowly working old-timer phrases into your vocabulary so you can fit in with the other old folks. Be prepared to hear a lot more.) … Back in the day, I used to go out on weekends. There were some days I didn’t even leave my house til midnight. Now I’m lucky if a crazy night at the Pub even lasts that late before I’m dragging, asking for coffee, and heading home before I fall asleep in my chair.
My coffee pot is now getting more of a workout. On a work day, I now need a minimum of 2 cups of coffee before I’m what’s considered as “awake.” And by the time 3pm rolls around, I’m yawning and ready for my afternoon nap. I keep suggesting building a nap lounge for the office. I don’t know why everyone thinks that’s a bad idea. Oh well. Time for coffee again!
I have also started yelling at children. Before you call me Scrooge, I only yell at the ones who deserve it. I had some young whippersnappers (another old timer phrase) rooting through my garden the other day and I yelled at them. I’ll tell you the whole story later. It also involves a baby being abandoned on my lawn. But I digress. That will also happen a lot more as you get older. The point is, now I yell at children.
If nearly 28 is already this bad, what in tarnation is 40 going to be like?
Chrissy, as someone slightly older than you I can inform it only gets better. I sometimes hang out with people on Friday nights only to fall asleep on whichever couch is closest. This is usually around the all impressive hour of 9:30. Almost made it past 10 the other night….soooo….super proud.
Once you hit a certain age, for us 28, your life becomes that of a sharks. Stop moving and die. Staying up requires you to stay active. Whatever you do don’t sit down. If you do sit, you may be able to continue your social interactions for a few more minutes but you’ve basically admitted defeat. Just go home and save yourself the embarrassment of falling asleep in public.
Maybe the whole thing is our bodys’ way of trying to maintain our dignity. We don’t have the energy to not act our age. We can go out, but not past midnight, and while we are up we don’t have it in us to do anything amazingly stupid. Try and look at it in a good light and ignore the fact that our organs are slowly shutting down.
The fact that you’re using old timey phrases and yelling at an abnormal amount of children is slightly disconcerting. Not sure what that’s all about. I think you need anger management or maybe a hug?