So little – but so much pressure.
So here’s some advice. When your best friend’s boyfriend asks you, “Hey, so it’s time for me to propose to Sarah. I was hoping you could help me. What kind of engagement ring do you think she would like?” …..you should PANIC.
Panic, because when she “nonchalantly” pulled you aside to “randomly” look at engagement rings six months ago, you nodded to everything she said, temporarily filed away what she showed you, and then PROMPTLY FORGOT EVERYTHING.
Panic, because you will slowly start to realize how many millions of engagement rings there are out there in the world, and you will also realize that every single one of them is now an opportunity to screw up your best friend’s life every time she looks at her left ring finger for the rest of her life, should you choose the wrong one.
No big deal or anything.
So I devised a plan. First, Sarah and I went to get coffee. After making sure that she was caffeinated and happy, I cleverly mentioned another friends’ ring, and then slowly, carefully, and expertly brought the discussion around to what kind of she might like. After secretly bookmarking some web pages, I had what I needed. Do you hear that, CIA? I’m kind of an expert now. I will consider an offer from you.
First, I had to relay the information to Leslie. This happened thru Facebook. All went well until Sarah, holding my phone, saw that Leslie had messaged me, but she could not see what it was about. After she playfully accused me of cheating with her boyfriend, I made up some faltering excuse about him needing to borrow my iPhone. What?! It was the best I could do in a clutch situation. Nevermind, CIA. You and me would probably not get along.
Now, we all know that I can’t lie to save my life. If you ask me, I can demonstrate for you. I start the lie, start laughing and looking around guiltily as if you can see into my soul. Now maybe you can understand why the next two months were so hard for me. I had to lie and deflect my way through them. So understandably, I was very relieved when Leslie called me last week and announced that the proposal would happen that night. The deceit could finally be over.
I always believed I could crack Chrissy like an egg. I told her ring information, fully believing when the time happened I would know about it as soon as she did. However, she is mentally stronger than I assumed.
The day of the engagement I called my mother on the way home from work. Somehow the conversation turned to Leslie and if we would ever get married. My mom (the liar) informed me it wouldn’t be that bad if we broke up. After all, I’d get over it. Accusing her of knowing something and assuming Leslie was talking to my mother of our impending breakup I went to his house depressed.
As soon as I walked into the door I yelled ‘Are you breaking up with me?!’ I think that surprised him slightly. He assured me he wasn’t and dragged my sorry butt into the car so we could meet up with some friends at the park for a grill out.
We threw a football, ate food and talked. The sun started setting and I started to get cold. I tried to get people to leave but Leslie was adamant we do one more thing. Going to the car he brought out a box full of lanterns, the flying kind….from Tangled. NO JUDGING!
Just like Tangled
We got them out and starting trying to light them. The wax fell off the first one….as a solid blob of fire. Panic set in and everyone started yelling at me. “PUT IT OUT! PUT IT OUT!” Stomping on it, I started to understand Disney may have lied to me about the ease of this activity.
The second one we brought out tried to catch on fire, but using our cognitive skillz we managed to save it and send it off. As it got further away the others started joining in. We slowly set them off into the sky and, after avoiding power lines, they became beautiful. As we got the last one ready I noticed Leslie was getting close to me. It made me nervous. I tried to get away.
I’m glad I didn’t.
Now, Leslie did a great job planning the proposal and making sure everything was in order. But since he had so many people he had to communicate with to make sure they arrived at the park, there were some details that remained ambiguous. Once we arrived at the park, Sarah was everywhere. I could not get a word in edgewise to Leslie without her being in earshot.
He brought the lanterns, candles, and lighters. They were all hidden from Sarah, until the moment.
I brought out my roommate Jenny’s big DSLR camera and felt like I was as obvious as the Eiffel Tower standing around taking pictures, praying Sarah didn’t notice the enormous camera with the gigantic flash lighting up the night because I didn’t want her to get suspicious. It was probably too late.
As we started to try and light the lanterns, they started falling apart. I panicked and then calmed down, until the lighters stopped working one by one. More panic. Then Leslie handed us candles to hold secretly, and we all tried to light them, while hiding them and trying not to set ourselves on fire.
I did not realize these candles were supposed to be a secret so I was holding mine out in plain sight until I saw everyone staring. I awkwardly shoved the candle behind me and took a picture so the flash would distract her. At this point I was just hoping Leslie would drop down on one knee and propose before Sarah called the loony bin on all of us for how strangely we were acting.
And then he did.
After I making sure he was serious, by asking multiple times, I said yes. Now I just have to plan a wedding and make sure Leslie doesn’t turn into a groomzilla. I may be failing.